white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom: this isn't normal

mufasamonsta:

tahthetrickster:

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

image

image

image

image

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

image

"THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

(via beautyuntoldisourstobehold)

(Source: randomness-is-epic, via pizza)

baby: d... d... d...
father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*

half-blood prince + chapters

(Source: dvaco, via wintermunk)

dveon:

goldenanubiscat:

I always wondered what surf would look like outside of a pool of water

cool

dveon:

goldenanubiscat:

I always wondered what surf would look like outside of a pool of water

cool

(Source: rubmegently, via deterginmary)

dangerhamster:

heartyglobe:

filed under: things celebrities say that the media sweeps under the rug to continue making controversy over them being “awful role models”

[x]

(via the-lonely-pariah)

soldiercas:

supernatural meme: five side-characters [4/5] Hallucifer

"He’s singing ‘Stairway to Heaven’ right now." "Good song." "Not 50 times in a row.

(via crazygayone)

Disney Princess and their original concept art, part 1

(Source: perfectdisney, via beautyuntoldisourstobehold)